It’s really not that serious…

opening
This post will probably get a strong reaction out of many. I may lose some followers because of it. That is okay. I am entitled to my own opinions. I am entitled to have my say. That is what this post is. Some of these subjects will probably piss you off. That’s okay. You can be pissed. I am okay with that.
Every day I sit back and watch such unnecessary drama unfold. I watch the arguing and fighting over things that are not of importance. I rarely comment. I rarely engage. Today, though, I am getting it all off of my chest. Much of this post has been on my mind for some time. I have mulled over this post for a couple of months now. So, now here I am, telling you that things really aren’t that serious.
I have plenty to say on every subject, however, I am only going to touch on them, tell you what I think and move on. I could go on for DAYS on some of these topics. Some, eh, I really don’t want to bash an eyelash over, but the constant whining, crying and fighting over things that really are NOT important has gotten so far under my skin, I don’t think I could continue to blog without getting it all off of my chest!
happyendings
So happy endings… now get your head out of the gutter. I don’t mean those happy endings. I am talking about endings in general…
First, let me say this… When an author writes a book, it is her or his book, not yours, not mine but theirs! So how the book ends is entirely up to said author. If said author wants to leave it on a cliffhanger, so what. This is the thing with happy endings that really burns my ass.
In my eyes, cliffhangers are glorious. They leave me pissed off, jaw on the ground and dancing in my seat for more. THAT IS FANTASTIC! Those endings make me love the author even more. It’s not only genius, but it takes REAL talent to leave so many hanging, ready to kill for more.
Those of you who love to give a book a horrible rating and a horrible review… get over yourself. Seriously. Have you ever written a book? Do you have enough talent to complete an entire story? My guess, is NO. No you don’t. Who are you to tell the creator of all of that hard work how it should end? Who are you to threaten and say some of the most foul things to and about an author because the book left you hanging? Are you going to suddenly die because you have to wait on the next book? Is it detrimental to your well being? Nope. Not at all. It’s just a book. A story. A glorious story that you will get another shot at losing yourself into at a later date. IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS!
onthesubject
Something else that has bothered me… How long do we wait for a book? For as long as it takes the author to write it. This one is for those of you who bitch and complain about how long you have to wait for a book. Really? You are in charge of what someone else does and when? Seriously? Come on now. Like I said before, have you written a book? Do you have what it takes?
Authors are people too. Believe it or not, they are not mythical creatures with fantastical powers that just create things on a whim. Really, they aren’t. I know that is hard for some to believe, but it is true. Creating something wonderful for readers takes time and patience. Authors have lives too. They are allowed to have family and friends. They are allowed to take trips and vacations. They are allowed to simply be humans. You aren’t their employer. You are not in charge of their work-pace. You will get their completed work when it is done. Not sooner. Not later. When they feel that their work is complete. Again, is the waiting detrimental to your well-being? I think not. Are there not enough books out there for you to read in the meantime? What I am trying to simply say is… IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS!
series
So this one is a little more complicated…Well not really complicated, but in some ways complex.
I see readers all of the time complaining about series and serials. Let me just start by saying, IF you KNOW a book is a part of a series or serial, and you are not keen to reading them and waiting for the next to come out, instead of bitching, name calling, threatening, etc., DON’T READ UNTIL IT’S FINISHED. Is it that hard to do? I think not. Do you really need to get all worked up after finishing part one in a series to the point you are bashing the author and anyone who thinks differently than you? No, no you don’t.
Now some of you will say that when you first read the book that you didn’t know that it was part of a series. Let me calm your titties for you right now. There are instances that when the book is created on a site like Goodreads, Amazon or Barnes and Noble that it doesn’t initially indicated that it’s a part of a series. I get that. But let’s take a tiny step back. There could be many reasons for this that are of NO FAULT to the author. So sit back down and let me finish…
When a book is created on a site, whether an informational or retail site, things aren’t always easily done. These sites can be tricky at times. All of the information could be entered, but once it’s created, all of the entered info might not be there. And to fix this problem is not always easy. Now, sometimes, it could just be an oversight. When it comes to publishing a book, there are so many steps, something like this could easily be forgotten in the process. Overall, is it really something so serious you need to get your panties in a bunch over? I think not. Would it have been nice to know before hand that you many not get the ending you desired? Yeah, it would. However… IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS!
disclaimer
Moving right along… Disclaimers. This seems to be a hot topic lately. Although I am not sure why. I mean, I get it, to a point, but I don’t see it as such a big deal. Dry your tears and move on.
I am not trying to be insensitive, but come on. These books are a work of fiction. Some do have subject matter that can be graphic. I totally get it. I land in the middle here on this. I can see at times where a book might need a disclaimer stating for 18 and up or something to that effect. Okay. However, said disclaimers don’t need to go into great detail to tell you about all of the subject matter. We are adults. Come on now. Seriously. Pull up your big girl pants and move on.
I am sure some of you are heated by my bluntness. Sorry, but not really. Let’s look at rape or violent situations. I have seen some arguments on this… not discussions, but arguments. (I am shaking my head right now, just so you know.) So a woman who has been raped or has been violently abused reads a book that has this in the book… Now, I get the PTSD. I do. However, these are works of fiction. And I do get where some might be affected by reading them. I sincerely do. However, part of reading a book is understanding the difference between fiction and reality. I am a survivor of both of the above. More than I am willing to tell you. I do not complain if I weren’t made aware of the situations ahead of time. I suck it up, read it and move on. It’s not real. It’s not me in the story. It’s a fictional character experiencing real-life situations in a fantasy world. If you can’t separate the two, sad to say, you may need some deep counseling before picking up another book.
As far as any other subject matter goes, who cares. It’s not the end of the world if a book makes you uneasy or cringe. To me, that is some REAL talent! You gave me goosebumps. Kudos to you dear author! It takes real talent to illicit such reactions! Disclaimers? To me? Not important. Next thing you know, there will be ratings on books like there are on video games and movies (not that I disagree with them). I don’t think a book is all that serious, but what do I know? I wouldn’t be opposed to having a rating on a book, but for the purpose of knowing if I should allow my child (not an adult) to read it. That’s the main purpose of ratings anyhow.
Basically… in my opinion… (Can you guess what I am about to say?)… I am not going to send hateful messages and slam an author over not having a disclaimer on her or his work because… IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS!
models
Ohhhh… This one is a super hot topic. So before I dive in, let me give you my stance on the subject. I don’t have one. It affects me in no way. What is it? Book models. I am neutral here. What I mean by that is…
They have no bearing on my reading. I read a book to read the book. The model on the cover does not have anything to do with me reading any book. Now, before you accuse me of being against models, I am not. I am simply saying that they don’t sway me on books.
I commend these individuals. They have seen an opportunity and jumped on it. They make a living by having their photo taken and stuck on a book or advertisement. Not everyone can do it. And I know that this isn’t the “issue” people have with them.
I am constantly seeing people bitching about models at signings. Really? Does it bother you that much? The authors who bring their models are proud of them. To them, they are a part of the book. Some of these models may even be their muse. Kudos to them. How are you hurt by this?
Honestly, I don’t care whether models are at signings or not. Really, I don’t. Truthfully, I come to meet the authors, not the models. But I am not a dick about it. I get that they are a part of the books. They just aren’t for me. You don’t see me bitching and whining and arguing over them being there, do you? Nope. They have every right to help promote their work and the authors’ work.
I have seen people complain that they have been treated poorly because they weren’t “pro-model”, and I have seen models and authors say they have been treated poorly because the model was present. Okay come on people. Are we not all adults? Everyone has a right to make a living. Who are we to tell someone they don’t have the right? And who are we to say that someone else is wrong for not having the same opinion? This goes for everyone involved. Have some class, be an adult and move on.
I will tell you about an experience I had when it came to a model. I wasn’t there to see him; I was there to see the author. Now, it is my right to say who signs my book that I paid for. So, if I KINDLY decline having the model sign my book, the correct response is NOT to get a bit shitty and give me dirty looks. I did not disrespect either you, the author or model. I expect the same treatment in return. Now, I did not get shitty back. To an extent, I can get that said people could have been put off my my declining said signature. And I can acknowledge that they may not be used to being declined. So, in turn, I smiled sweetly and moved on. But let’s take note. Our reactions are what cause the unnecessary controversy. Models have a right to be there if they so choose, but readers also have the right to NICELY decline whatever they wish. Keyword in this whole scenario is NICELY… or maybe it should be professionally. This also goes to if a reader declines a photo with the model. Just because he or she is there, doesn’t mean everyone is going to want a photo. However, those declining need to remember that models are there as a part of their job, show respect. And, vice versa, authors and models should NOT treat a reader with contempt or disrespect for declining.
Many authors, and some bloggers, make good money because of their models. Their models are a part of their creative process in creating their books. No matter what, we all need to remember that what we put out, we will get back tenfold. So no matter what side of the scenario you are on, if you put out negativity, you in some way, receive negativity back. If you are not a supporter of models, okay, that is right. However, instead of being an asshole, just move on. Same goes to authors and models, if someone isn’t receptive to your profession, don’t be a dick. Just smile and move on. In the end, all of the bickering and drama is unnecessary from everyone… all of the stupid bullshit?… IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS!
BLOGGERS
I have so many things to say that pertain to blogging… I am not sure where to start. Maybe this is the part where I just tell you a little bit about my blog…
So my blog is unique. There really aren’t many book blogs like mine. There is a VERY small handful of us. I am in the category of sole blogger. What I mean by that is, I am the ONLY one on my blog. I run my blog solo. I don’t have a partner, a group of individuals or reviewer teams on my blog. My blog is 100% me and me only.
I have been blogging about books for a few years now. It feels like a full-time job, except I don’t get paid. Not at all. I don’t make any money off of my blog. I don’t capitalize my blog in any way. Okay, sure, I am an Amazon Associate. But guess what? I “make” anywhere from $5.00 to (maybe, at most) $25.00 a month. That there, doesn’t cover even a fraction of the costs that are put into my blog (not even counting the time put into it). Between subscriptions and purchases (personal and giveaways), I do not even come close to breaking even, EVER.
Blogging is my hobby. It’s something I enjoy. Well, enjoyed. As of late, I haven’t enjoyed it so much, for so many reasons. I haven’t gotten satisfaction out of my blog in a while. So, I guess this is where I start with explaining to you why it hasn’t been enjoyable…
myboss
So, like I said above, I run my blog solo. That means that I am the only one reading and reviewing books. I am the only one signing up to help promote authors and their books. I am the only one creating my posts. I am the only one handling all of my social media for my blog.
Where am I going with this? I am going in a couple of different directions with this…
I guess I will start with the social media side of things. This is the most stressful part for me. Really, it shouldn’t be, but it is for a few reasons.
Okay, so you are a personal assistant to an author, you are a PR person or blogger promoting an author or you are an author promoting yourself… you send me a message on my blog’s page asking me to help you. Now, first keep in mind what I said up above… This is MY blog. I do have a right to choose what I post anywhere that has my blog’s name. So, if you ask me to help promote you or whoever you are representing, and I kindly decline… Do NOT send me back a nasty message. It is MY right to say no. I am not disrespectful to you, do not treat me with disrespect. Me telling you no (which is my right, if I so choose to) is NOT THAT SERIOUS. Don’t create an issue where there doesn’t need to be. I turn down things for many reasons, but the main reason being time. Does it take much time to create a Facebook post? No, not usually. However, most of my posts are scheduled posts. Posts I have chosen to put on my page. Sometimes they are in conjunction with other authors or bloggers and I don’t want to take away from those posts. Sometimes, it’s just a personal preference. It’s my blog, I choose what type of material I promote. However, I do not respond with that. I always kindly turn them down; do NOT come at me like an asshole. You have just ruined any chance of me EVER promoting (or reading) anything you or who you are representing puts out. For those representing an author, shame on you. While I get that it may not be “fair” to said author for me to choose to not read or ever promote his or her books based on your actions, I don’t have time to weed out who is simply just a very unprofessional person versus someone who has the like-mindedness of said author. (I hope that made sense.)
Okay… moving on… I am human. I get behind on things sometimes. Life does get in the way sometimes. Sometimes, my agreed upon posts do go up late. I get that when I signed up, sometimes there is a set time I have agreed to have my post up by. Let me delve into a few reasons why said post might go up late… The MAIN one… Like my Facebook, I schedule my blog posts. So, when I have a post that should go up tomorrow (for example), I shouldn’t be receiving the packet for said post at midnight tonight. Truthfully, things like blog tours and release days, I should have ALL info in a timely manner. Not 24 hours before. Not 12 hours before. When this happens, there is a very good chance that the post will be up late. Now, cover reveals, I get why the info is sent out a little closer to the posting date, but still. It’s not easy to have a post up by say 9am the next day when the info was sent at midnight or in the middle of the night. I can promise you, it won’t be up by said time. I have stopped “working” with many “companies” because of this. And… when the post isn’t up, do NOT send me a nasty email. Don’t. I will block your email and stop “working” with you in a heartbeat. It’s just a post. In retrospect, I am NOT getting paid for it, you are. So it being up an hour or two late, to me, IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS.
Before I move on, I do need to say one more thing about the above topic. To these people (which there aren’t many), remember you are representing an author, and in most cases, many authors. So when I stop “working” WITH you, that means I am no longer promoting whatever authors you are representing. Now, to me, that seems pretty unfair to me… Doesn’t it seem unfair to you? But if you can’t be professional and do what you are PAID to do in a timely manner, that is what I have to do. I am not getting paid for it, and it’s my time that is being stretched.
So, now I need to back up just a little bit. (I am sure you are tired of me already, I promise to try to not be too much longer.) Social media… I have posted MANY times that I do not like people randomly posting on my pages promoting themselves or other authors. This isn’t me being a bitch. It’s me CHOOSING what goes on my page. I get you are just trying to promote, but it is my page. I do have the right to say what gets posted and when it gets posted. I do, and will continue to, delete these posts. If it’s the same person over and over, he or she does get blocked from my page. To you, it’s not that serious. And to me, it really isn’t either. But, again, my page. My rules.
Moving on… blog posts… I have had issues with receiving emails about HOW my posts are created. Look, it’s my blog. I receive the packets and create my posts the way I want them to appear. Until you are paying me to put up a post, you canNOT tell me how the post should appear. I have creative control on my blog. If this doesn’t suit you, do not send me a signup form for anything. It’s that simple. The creation of a post… well, IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS. Really, it’s not.
unsolicited
So this is a big one for me, and many others. There IS a CORRECT and an INCORRECT way to go about things.
Every single day, I get stressed over my inbox in my email. I am bombarded with new tour companies, new authors, etc. I get it. You are trying to gain followers, you are creating your brand. I totally get it. So, sending me MULTIPLE emails a day, almost every day, is not the way to do it. Do you know what happens when you do that? I have this nice little feature in Outlook… it’s called BLOCK SENDER… I do use it. This is NOT the correct way to go about things. Not at all. If you are a tour company, personal assistant, or anyone trying to get a blog to sign up for tours, cover reveals, promos, release days, etc., you do not bombard blogs with your signups. You send out an email introducing yourself. You tell me who you are, who you represent and put a sign up option for me to click in order to receive ANY more emails from you. One email. That’s all. If I do not sign up, I should not receive another 10 emails from you. I save ALL emails that include any kind of signup. If I want to signup to receive your emails at a later date, I can do so then. Do NOT keep sending me stuff over and over again. If I haven’t signed up to be on your email list, you shouldn’t be flooding my email. And… when I click on a signup that an author posted, but you are representing them, do NOT add me to your list to send out future opportunities. Don’t. Seriously. I signed up for that ONE thing. If I want to be added to your list, I am smart enough to figure out how I get on your email list. Trust me, I am. And furthermore, if I kindly email you asking you to not send me any more emails, do NOT reply back cussing me out or telling me off. Trust me, not only will I block your email, but I will make it aware to every author you represent that you are very unprofessional.
community
I promise, this is the last section. I have other things I could go on and on about, but I will spare you… for now… This is the most important topic. It sums up everything.
We are one big community, whether you want to be a part of this community is up to you. However, once you have stepped into it, you are a part of it whether you like it or not. One you have your foot in, you need to remember to be supportive and professional. Even if you don’t like someone or what they represent, it doesn’t matter. There is a level of respect you should uphold. The bashing and ripping apart of other members of this community only gets you one thing… The potential loss of the path you have chosen. What do I mean? If you are an author and you are bashing another author or a blogger or a reader, you are potentially losing readers and followers. If you are a blogger doing the same, again, you are losing followers and supporters. For some, the stakes are higher, especially if this is your chosen career.
I am going to give you an example. A HOT one, if I may. E.L. James. Ahhh… I bet I just got one of two reactions from you. Some negative and some positive. Well guess what, the negative… there shouldn’t be.
So with this example, I am going to express my opinion, PROFESSIONALLY. My opinion is this… I don’t care that she wrote that last book. Not one bit. Why? Because IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS! It’s just a book. If you don’t want to read it, then don’t. It’s that simple. You don’t need to troll all over the internet and bash her. Now, do I feel that she only wrote it to capitalize on the Fifty Shades empire? Yeah, probably. So what? That’s her right. It’s her profession. Get over it. Am I going to read it? No. I don’t really have any desire to do so. But I am not an asshole about it. It’s just like any other book I come across on Amazon that doesn’t peek my interest. It’s just a book I don’t want to read. And it ends there. Does someone making money really offend you that much? Is there a need to bash someone who has made a shit ton of money off of one series? Well, I guess when the jealous side of your brain takes over, you apparently do feel the need. Shame on you! IT’S JUST A BOOK. Get over it. And get over yourself. And I say this from the bottom of my heart. Move on.
In order to be successful (no matter what your definition of successful is) in this industry, you need to be mindful and supportive. Bashing each other and arguing over such meaningless things isn’t going to help you become successful. I have stopped supporting and reading authors because of their lack of professionalism. I cannot support someone who openly does not support others. We are all a part of ONE community. All of the bullshit that I mentioned throughout this post shouldn’t really be issues, EVER. As an author, all you need to do is put out your work (on your time), support those around you and encourage them to do the same. That’s it. As a blogger, you need to support authors (in whatever way you choose) and fellow bloggers. Both sides of this community needs to remember to respect readers. Not everyone is going to like everyone. Those asshole readers who send you hate mail, bash you on social media, give you a one star because you didn’t give them what they wanted, tell you to stop writing because they didn’t like something they read, tell you when to write and what to write… fuck them. Block them. Move on. It’s not anyone’s fault that they can’t recognize that these are books and their stupid complaints REALLY AREN’T THAT SERIOUS! Unfortunately with success, comes negativity. Those that only choose to be negative are the ones who need to take their own advice.
I love everyone I have met in this community, whether it be virtually or in person. I do whatever I can to support them. And I hope my rambling and ranting hasn’t bored you to death!

You can follow me here, if you wish...
theend

Comments

  1. This is the first time I've been on your blog. It just popped up on my newsfeed on Facebook. You said you may lose followers for this post, but you definitely just gained one. Me! I completely agree with everything you've said. It needed to be said. And you, my friend, have the right size balls to do it. (Totally a compliment!)

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  2. I was going to be a smart ass because, really, would you expect any less? I took valuable reading time from a highly anticipated ARC to get through this post. Couldn't you have split it up a bit? LOL! In all seriousness, I value your honesty, integrity, perspective and time. I hate cliffs with a passion and like to know ahead of time if there is one. Why? I'm a slow reader and have some retention problems If the author doesn't write the way I read. I would have to go back and reread the first book before the 2nd. For me, that's 2-3 days. Is that the author's fault? NOPE - it's just my makeup. Would I rate a book badly because of it? NOPE, it's not the author's fault. I do tend to wait for the series to be complete before I start it. It's less frustrating for me.
    See, you getting on your horse is making me want to get on mine. There's a few topics that I almost expected but didn't see. That's OK though. Another time, I'm sure. I almost never visit fb pages anymore, but am grateful to get you email daily so I can check out your blog posts - no matter how you plan them out. We don't always see eye to eye on books or authors, but we are each entitled to our own opinions and preferences. I'm sorry that you have to go through so much BS. I sincerely wish that this post will make it all go away, but we both know that most of the people this applies to will never even read it. If you lose followers, then it just wasn't meant to be. If your numbers ever go down to 1, you know it'll be me with gratitude and respect for you decisions, opinions and time. Thanks for being awesome. Go hang with Mr. UAN with a cocktail and relax. You deserve it!

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