I remember the lights.
I remember I wanted to photograph them, the way the red and blue splashed across his cold, emotionless face. But I knew even if my feet could move from the place where they had cemented themselves to the ground and I could run for my camera, I wouldn’t be able to capture that moment.
I had trusted him, I had loved him, and even though my body had changed that summer, he’d made sure to help me hold on to who I was inside, regardless of how the exterior altered.
But then everything changed.
He stole my innocence. He scarred my heart. He took everything I thought I knew about my life and fast-pitched it out the window, shattering the glass that held my world together in the process.
I remember the lights.
The passionate, desperate, hot strikes of red. The harsh, cruel, icy bolts of blue.
They symbolized everything I endured that summer.
And everything I would never face again.
**** 4.5 Star Review ****
Words have escaped me. Like, literally flew out the window. This book left me breathless and speechless. This is the first book of Kandi's I have read (I know I suck.), but it definitely won't be my last. I honestly wanted to read this because I loved the cover so much. Then I peeked at the synopsis and knew I had to read it.
This book is so many things. It is a little sick and twisted. It is a little sweet. It is a little rough. I can't even begin to tell you all of the things that are in this book.
I have debated on what to write in this review for days. I am still a little lost with what words I should and shouldn't give you. On the surface, this is a story of love and loss in more than one way. But it is a story that is told from such a deep place, that it holds you captive from start to finish.
I think that it is important for me to talk about the pacing of this story. Some people like everything to just happen. Bam. Right away. Not me. I prefer a slower build to things. I like progression. This one is told in the perfect build up for the plot and sub-plots, that once things get real, they are real. You will feel so many emotions by the time you are nearing the end.
I am always nervous with authors I haven't read yet. I always want to like their books. I prayed that this one would win me over. In my mind, with a cover like that, it better. (I know, judging the book by its cover. How can you not with this one?) Kandi's writing spoke to me from beginning to end. Her storytelling is written from such a place that I don't think anyone can ever match.
“I just don’t understand,” he said as he began rolling the ball up my calf. I moaned out loud, realizing that area was packed with trigger points, as he had called them.
“Don’t understand what?” I asked, still holding my breath as he rolled over my other calf. I leaned up on my elbows and turned my head back to meet his eyes.
He paused, holding the ball in place as he gazed back at me. “How could I never have noticed you before?”
I swallowed, almost more afraid of the brief tenderness I caught in his eyes in that moment than the usual hardness that existed there.
Shrugging, I answered his question just above a whisper. “I’m easy to miss.”
I held his eyes for a moment more before laying my chest back to the ground, resting my head on my arms. He started rolling the ball up my hamstrings and I closed my eyes tight. I thought I might explode from the mixture of pain and pleasure that rocked through my body. After a few moments, he spoke again.
“Maybe I just wasn’t looking.”
Kandi Steiner is a Creative Writing and Advertising/Public Relations graduate from the University of Central Florida living in Tampa with her husband. Kandi works full time as a social media specialist, but also works part time as a Zumba fitness instructor and blackjack dealer.
Kandi started writing back in the 4th grade after reading the first Harry Potter installment. In 6th grade, she wrote and edited her own newspaper and distributed to her classmates. Eventually, the principal caught on and the newspaper was quickly halted, though Kandi tried fighting for her "freedom of press." She took particular interest in writing romance after college, as she has always been a die hard hopeless romantic (like most girls brought up on Disney movies).
When Kandi isn't working or writing, you can find her reading books of all kinds, talking with her extremely vocal cat, and spending time with her friends and family. She enjoys beach days, movie marathons, live music, craft beer and sweet wine - not necessarily in that order.