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Monday, August 1, 2016

Release Day: Penny in London by Fisher Amelie




You know how everyone says when one door closes another one opens? At the time, you find this statement obnoxious as all get out because a) you don’t really know what the future holds, it certainly hasn’t been a cakewalk so far, and b) the thought of change is unbearable. You feel like your life is falling apart and everyone around is feeding you clichés like they’re made out of kale or quinoa or whatever the trend health food is right now. You don’t want kale clichés, you want double-chocolate fudge realisms, and you want them now. You just want things the way they were, but then something happens, a moment, an instant that sets you out on a path toward happiness you never knew could exist, and suddenly you think, huh, I don’t think I want double-chocolate fudge anymore. I think I’m in the mood for this heaping serving of strawberry cheesecake sitting in front of me…with a side of kale. And a pair of split pants, but we won’t get into that right now. 

Graham Glenn may have tossed her in, but Oliver Finn made her feel again.

***

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Fisher Amelie interviews Oliver Finn…

F: Hello, Oli, how are you today?
O: I’m well, Miss Amelie, and yourself?
F: I’m well, as well. 
O: Well, well. 
F: Shut up, Oli. 
O: Laughs
F: So, I’m here to introduce you to a few of my readers. Is there anything you’d like to say to them?
O: Miss Amelie is holding me hostage. Please, anyone, alert the proper authorities! I’m- *muffled*
F: Straightens clothing. Are you ready to behave?
O: Yes, madam. Whatever you say, madam. Please don’t hurt me, madam.
F: Oli! Play along! Please! I’m growing tired of this. 
O: Laughs. Fine. Get on with your questions then. 
F: Why don’t you tell my readers a little about yourself. 
O: Fine. My name is Oliver Finn. I am twenty-seven years old. I reside in London. I am a master leather worker. I am very handy with a polo mallet.  
F: That’s all very well, Oli, but can you give my readers something with a bit more bite?
O: Leans forward. Offers a smoldering expression. As you wish, Miss Amelie.
F: Fans herself.
O: My favorite poet is Pablo Neruda. If a woman is standing, I will offer her my seat. Likewise, if I am walking with a woman down the street, I always take the outside of the sidewalk. I love children. My nieces and nephew are my favorite people in the world. I am a prolific reader. I am also fluent in French.
F: Say something then.
O: J’ai une première édition de ‘À la recherche du temps perdu.’ Tu veux le voir? 
F: …
O: Shall I go on?
F: Yes, please.
O: I am fiercely loyal, for reasons you will understand when you read our story. There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t fall on my knees in gratitude for this life. But above all, and I believe this is very important, I always share my dessert.
F: All very good things, Oli.
O: Thank you, Miss Amelie. 
F: Describe Penny to us.
O: Ah, Penny. Penelope Beckett is by far the cleverest girl I’ve ever encountered. She is inventive and hard working, sweet and compassionate. She is fond of children and they of her, which speaks volumes to me. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever known and I would slay dragons for her. Tell me something, Miss Amelie, have you ever known the sensation of being in the presence of the one you are meant to be with forever?
F: Yes, I have.
O: Then no doubt you will know what I mean when I say that Penelope Beckett can govern me with a mere facial expression, that she is capable of consuming the room around me, and I would stop at nothing to feel her skin, touch her hair, smell her perfume, or hear her words. Penelope Beckett owns me, happily.
F: I’m sure she would be ecstatic to know you admit as much.
O: Laughs loudly. I assure you, madam, she is very aware.
F: Oli, I’d be doing my readers an injustice if I didn’t ask you about Graham Glenn.
O: No, you wouldn’t. 
F: Well, can you elaborate on what happened between you two and Penelope?
O: Absolutely not. 
F: Just give them something, anything, that can convey the trouble between the three of you in the story.
O: I refuse. Speaking about him would lend him a credence I refuse to acknowledge. I will only say this, he is the scum of this earth, a friend of the devil himself. 
F: Oli, I -
O: No. Stands. I believe I’ve answered enough of your questions today, Miss Amelie. If you’ll excuse me. Begins to walk off.
F: Wait! I’m not finished!
O: Turns toward Fisher. I’m afraid we’re done here. Good day, Miss Amelie.
F: Sits deflated. Well, dang, should have saved that question for last.


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